gar's thought hole

this is GARTA!!!!

kitty is back!

here is an artist's rendering of her standing triumphantly over her removed ovary:

a shaved underbelly is the only detectable change.  lolly is back to her old self too, she was so depressed while her little friend was gone.

also, brook, the cats and  i are now the only residents of our little home.  brook's roommate gracefully stepped aside as our new policy of lebensraum (think manifest destiny, but with nazis) was viciously executed.  now the cats have unmitigated access to all the corners of the house.  i think i'll build a ferris wheel for them to ride in the new room.

-gar

snip snip

we took lil' nips to the spay/neuter place today.  it was a tear-soaked and mew-mew-laden journey.

we don't get to pick her up again until tomorrow :(¹ºº

+

= much sadness.

-gar

p.s. she doesn't actually have an ovarian cyst.  that is just the wikipedia picture for spaying.

p.p.s. i'm at work crying right now thinking about her.

dv86'd

the venue dv8 is no more.  up in flames it went last wednesday.  they had to tear the burnt chunks down afterwards.  it is gone.  while i was walking across the street yesterday, staring into what has become just another huge, empty hole in downtown salt lake city, i thought back on all the sweet, sweet times i had there:

1.  i saw soul coughing in the irresistible bliss era.  my brother and m. doughty had a mid-show discussion of politics.

2. i saw weezer there during the pinkerton times.  rivers cuomo, after making out with an underage girl who was begging for more and being denied, signed my bare chest with a sharpie.  mason chatted with the drummer afterwards about his weird southpaw style.

3. i saw ween for the first time there in 1997.  unfortunately, i was incapacitated from inhaling marijuanus, as ween fans are wont to do, and i just sat there mangled.  remember that max?  shortly thereafter i discovered pot just wasn't for me.  oh yeah, and i bought a shirt which terrell still wears sometimes.

4. i played my very first show there in the basement!  it was punk as fuck and we were called the Thought Police.  i sang one of my first original compositions entitled, "shitfucked".  it was awesome.  someone took a picture of me during the show and it was upon viewing it that i discovered my metal face, which i have since seen repeated many times over.  when i get to rocking, my lower jaw juts out and i look hideous.  hideous, and awesome.

5.  nar and i saw the vandals there too, which was also punk as fuck.  that guy that works at sam wellers was in one of the opening bands and he wailed around in a straight jacket.  i'll be honest with you, i was a little freaked out.

6. one of my first 21 and over shows was isis.  i sat in a booth and got wasted instead of watching the band.

7. i saw pinback there with my lil' sissy.  i think that was our first show together.  cute!  except for when i abandoned her to go get wasted upstairs.  later, when the bassist broke a string the rest of the band played misfits covers and i queefed a little.

peace out, venue that was actually decent.  although it had lain dormant these past few years... well, i guess you just don't know what you've got 'til it's gone...

-gar

p.s. share your dv8 memories in the comments!

another awesome article...

from cracked.com

link

-gar

gar.fm

last.fm just rolled out their new thing where anyone can upload their music, get it streamed on the site and receive royalties when people listen to full tracks.  pretty badass.

if you click gar sounds ---> in the sidebar you'll go to my page.  it's all the same old crap i recorded ages ago, but maybe i will be inspired to crap some more music out now.  brohawk and i will soon have a room dedicated to computers and music which will also facilitate this musical endeavor.

word.

-gar

bugs

simultaneously hilarious and terrifying article about insects:

link

-gar

o canada...

why must thee withhold the new hayden from me?

does this have something to do with the american dollar's hemorrhaged worth?

let me know, thanks.

-gar

MOVIES!

fuck the whole secret thing.  everybody knows i blew a guy once.

but moving on, i've seen several movies and i would like to discuss them (in brief).

eagle vs. shark.  reminiscent of napoleon dynamite, but way better and from new zealand (jemaine from FotC is in it).  say yiss.  that's how they say yes.

juno.  reminiscent of wes anderson, but not nearly as good.  which isn't to say it's a bad movie, those are just some heavily stylized and large boots to fill.  also michael cera should have been featured more prominently.  he's awesome.

the ten.  i was warned a year ago that it sucked.  and it did.  the only really good bit was the CAT scan sketch.  joe lotruglio & liev schreiber were awesome. 

i love stella.  and WHAS.  i basically worship those dudes.  but i was horribly let down by both the baxter and the ten.  it's as if they get too caught up in the process of making a movie, and forget that the reason their previous material worked was because it they packed many gags into a small amount of time, instead of just a few sprinkled here and there throughout an entire movie.  and showalter, i know you said you wanted baxter to be a wholesome, old-timey romantic type of movie, and that's great.  you should've stuck to that throughout.  remember when justin theroux (who is also awesome) says cock?  that blew the whole old-timey thing right there.  a lot of independent movies fail because they fail to deliver on the promise of their themes and motifs.  they deviate and they blow it, capeche?  people give wes anderson shit, but he sticks to his guns and makes some decent ass motherfucking movies.

tonight i am watching wedding daze, michael ian black's directorial debut.  dear jesus god, let one of them get it right.  judging by title, mayhap not.

if ever you read this, ye blessed members of stella, know that it weighs heavily in my bosom to report this critique.  lord knows i can't even take a shit right (that was going to be secret #2), let alone make a full length feature film.

-gar

p.s. brad renfro died and for some reason it really makes me feel weird.  i've felt really weird about him ever since i saw him in law and order: criminal intent.  he looked like shit and it made me feel... weird (secret #3?).

p.p.s. also, i have to spay my kitten and she's going to be away from us for a full 24 hours.  it breaks my fucking heart.  sorry lil' mew mew.

as if i wasn't already transparent enough...

apparently i'm it.

things few know about me (brook knows everything) (keep in mind, i can't really divulge secret secrets, for legal reasons):

1) i'm gay

2) just kidding.

ok... for reals.

1) i'm going to finish this at home when i feel a little more free.

-gar

the kitteh tree

brook and i have become "those" people.  we bought our cats a $150 kitty tree.  if you think we're crazy, just watch lil' nips and lolly leap to and fro and then nestle up in the little cave, you will understand.

-gar

p.s. remember my old cat?  buttons?  well, she's gone through lycanthropic metamorphosis a la michael jackson in thriller:

p.p.s. have any of you played hellgate: london for pc?   i just started and it's awesome.